Of Flowers And Queens
by x-SpaceGirl-x
Summary: A collab with LuckySmarts, Tenrose angst , set after GiTF, Mickey is not present.


_**Hullo guys! So my friend El and I decided to write a Doctor Who fanfiction together. She did the Doctor, and I did Rose. This isn't finished, not at all. No beta, I corrected what I saw, all mistakes are mine. We don't own Doctor Who, only in our minds. BBC has all rights to it and its characters. Anyways, read and review!**_

_**xxx,**_

_**A**_

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><p>Light was surrounding the library, everything was basked in a warm, golden glow, it was emanating from the lamps that surrounded the vast room, glowing, flickering orbs, almost like flames. In a corner in a huge armchair was Rose Tyler, knees pulled against her chest, arms wrapped around them. Her blonde hair fell around her face in a curtain. She was remembering what had happened, hundreds of years ago in France with a certain French queen, and her Doctor. He had swept off on a horse, off to save Madame de Pompadour, or, as he so affectionately referred to her as, Reinette. She had watched him leave, looking like an odd sort of knight in his pinstripes and Converse on his white horse. She had been traveling with him for two years now, and as time passed, she found herself completely and utterly in love with the Madman In The Box. She knew, however, that he didn't feel the same. Couldn't ever feel the same.<p>

The Doctor stepped carefully down the hall, quiet even in the Converses.

He felt guilt. So much guilt. Guilt because he knew Rose could see how much he hurt, even through the smiles, and guilt because she had died. Reinette had died waiting for him. Two minutes, he said. She waited five years, and she died waiting.

He hadn't loved her. Not like he loved Rose. He could have. He _liked_ her. But he felt more guilt than sorrow. He could have never loved anyone, not even _the_ Madame de Pompadour, as much as Rose Tyler. _But she was perfect. And human. And smart. And amazing. And definitely not going to work because you should not think of your companions like that._

He peered into the library, and his eyebrows furrowed. "Er...Rose? You alright?"

Rose tensed, and wiped her face clean of any hurt or anger that might be on it. She raised her head, pushing back her blonde hair with her hand. "Yeah. I'm great. Fine." She said, trying to keep her voice emotionless. He didn't even realize how much it hurt, to watch him parade around with the bloody queen. And to leave her after he said he wouldn't. But, as she watched him I. The doorway, his body framed by the dusky blue glow of the hallway, she knew without a doubt that she would love him, and that he would continue breaking her heart.

He tilted his head slightly, studying her as he leaned against the doorway. "..Okay." he said hesitantly. He coughed. Okay. Distractions. When things were uncomfortable or awkward, you keep talking, and then you either forget or make it worse. "...So where should we fly the TARDIS to today? We never fidget to Barcelona. Or we could go to Bejing. Bejing is lovely this time of year. Though we could go any time of year.."

She shrugged. "Can we just stay here please?" She asked. If they went somewhere, there would be hand holding, and hugs, and she didn't think that she could sustain any more of that torture. It hurt so much already. He was already doing the stream of consciousness avoidance thing he did when he was uncomfortable. She made him uncomfortable.

The Doctor blinked. "..Okay. Yeah." he said in surprise, shifting on his feet and glancing at the floor awkwardly. Was she cross with him? She was talking the way she did when she was cross with him, but she looked sad. No, she looked fine. But way he felt when he looked fine.. Wasn't always fine. "..And you're sure you're okay?"

She looked up at him, eyes flickering with her emotions for a moment. "Of course I'm fine." She said, looking at him. She was a wreck. Of course she wasn't fine. How could she be? Was he seriously that blind To the fact that she loved him?

He opened his mouth then closed it, losing the words. He glanced at his feet. "Um..okay...if you're sure," he said dejectedly, wishing she would tell him what was going on. After Reinette she had seemed more..guarded. He knew he had made a mistake, not coming back for her in time, but did Rose think something similar was going to happen to her? Was that why she wouldn't say anything to him? He stepped discreetly out of the doorway, head bowed.

She blinked. She had hurt him. It was most definitely not her intention. "Wait... come sit with me." She said, moving to the couch. "We should have a reading day."

Rose mumbled, pulling the blanket from the back of the couch and wrapping it around her shoulders.

He blinked and stepped back into the room."Okay." he said gladly, happy to be invited back in. "Reading. I love reading. What about?" _I also love you and your smile and everything about you and ugh I shouldn't be thinking this about a companion_ he came and sat beside her, pulling his lanky legs up onto the seat.

She smiled. _I love you, I love you, I love you more than anything._ She crossed her legs, and leaned against him. "I have no idea. Why don't you choose?" She said, savoring his warmth and pretending, just for a moment that everything was normal and them.

The Doctor hesitated before gingerly placing his arm over her shoulders. "Okay. Weellll...there's lots of good things in here. What genre are you in the mood for? Adventure? Action? Romance?"

She grinned. "Oh, definitely romance." She'd make him squirm. She could at least have some fun while being miserable. "You're fine with that aren't you?"

He blushed lightly and licked his lips nervously. "Yes, yes, of course I am. I'm fine with that. Why wouldn't I be fine with that?" he stood up anxiously. "I'll um, I'll go fine one," he said, ducking his head as he turned away.

She smiled. Mission accomplished. She couldn't help but wonder what he'd say if she said that she loved him. "I love you." She whispered, knowing he probably couldn't hear her.

He stopped and turned in an instant, one brow arched. "..What?" he hadn't caught that, but he was sure she had said something.

She blushed. "Sorry. Nothing." She said quietly. Whoops. Had he heard her?

The Doctor blinked. "It's um..if you want to tell me..you can." It had sounded like something..nah, she'd never say that, he'd misheard her,

She looked at him. "Seriously. It's no big deal." _I only love you with every fiber of my being._

He shifted back and forth. "Okay." he said reluctantly, blushing a little, before going off to hunt through romance novels. He wished he was right. To hear her say that to him..would have meant everything.

Rose hesitated. "I said I love you." She said quietly.

He turned, brown eyes wide. His mouth was open for a moment. He paused. "Did you mean it?" he asked softly.

She pulled back. What had she done? She turned, and backed away. "I'm sorry. So sorry. I know you can't, I'm only your companion." She said, backing away quicker

_No no no no she's leaving no this was not supposed to happen everything is going wrong no no no no_ raced the Doctor's mind. He outstretched a hand. "Rose. Please." he said quickly. "Don't be sorry. Please don't be sorry. And um." he blinked. "AndIloveyoutoo." he coughed, reddening.

She blinked. That was impossible. He didn't fall in love with his companions. She was an ape. Tears filled her eyes. "Don't." She whispered. "Don't say it if you don't mean it."

He looked at her and shook his head slightly. "I do mean it. I mean it more than anything. Rose Tyler, I love you."

She blinked, and began to sob in earnest. "Dont. Don't be cruel." She said

His eyebrows furrowed. "I-I'm not. I love you." he said, and hesitantly reached out, placing his hand on hers.

She pulled away. "Don't. Be fair."'she spun on her heel, and walked away.

He flinched. "Rose! Please." he said. "I mean it. Please. Just listen to me."

"No. I'm sorry. You aren't like this. This... You don't do that stuff." She said .

He closed his eyes momentarily. "I..I know I don't. Because..humans. They age. I don't. You wither, and die. And I won't. It hurts. And I try not to make unnecessary bonds."

She looked at him, eyes cold. "Fine. That's fine. I won't be an 'unnecessary bond' for you."

"No! No no no!" he said in horror. "I try not to. But...I already have. I love you. More than you could ever understand. Please. Please don't leave."

She backed away from him. "Just... Let me alone." She said. "Please."

The Doctor swallowed. He'd hurt her. He'd said it wrong. "...Okay." he said, looking down. He'd ruined it. Rose Tyler, his best friend, his companion. And now she would leave.

She walked away, down the hallway, and managed to get mostly away before breaking into sobs. She opened her door, and closed it, heading to the bathroom and sitting on the floor, sobbing.

He flinched. He didn't hear the crying, but he could guess what she was doing. He sat down on the floor and pulled his knees into his chest, burying his face in them. Why didn't she believe him? He meant it. He meant it completely. He loved her...and she didn't believe him.

After a while, she stood up. No need crying over it. She would just leave. Make it easier for both of them. He wouldn't need to feel guilty that he didn't love her back, and she wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he didn't love her. She would heal, but never completely

The Doctor stood up eventually with a small sigh. He felt like he shouldn't disturb her, but yet he felt he shouldn't leave her alone. He shuffled softly down the hall and knocked gingerly on her door. "Ah...Rose?"

She tensed. "What?" She yelled back.

He cringed. "I just...I um..." he swallowed. "You're...gonna stay, right?"

She leaned against the bathroom door. "Um. I don't know. Its... Hard. Really hard to be here, with out you."

He closed his eyes and swallowed. "...Then why don't you stay here _with_ me?"

She leaned against the door, hyper aware he was on the other side. "But you do t want me in the same way I want you."

He sighed. "But that's what you don't understand. I _do_."

She placed one hand against the door. "How can you?"

His eyebrows furrowed. "How couldn't I? You're beautiful, and kind, and brilliant. How could you love me?"

She opened the door a crack. Did he really mean all that? She looked out of the crack. "Really?"

He peered back at her. "...Yes. Really."

She blinked, a tear rolling down her cheek, tracing a silver looking glint ion the low lighting. "Why?"

The Doctor tilted his head slightly, looking at her. "I..just..." he stopped. "You're the girl who ran with me. You're the one who's with me, whenever I need you. Always. ...And I always want you there."

She gasped. Why hadn't he said anything before? Rose opened the door, and stared at him, tears still freah on her cheeks. "Since run?"

The Doctor gave a small exhalation. "Since run." he said softly before pulling her into his arms.

She blinked, and allowed him to wrap her in his arms. "Doctor." She whispered.

He looked down at her, holding her close. "Yes?' he whispered back.

" Don't leave me again." She sobbed.

He closed his eyes, holding her against him. "I won't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't leave you."

She curled her hands into fists. "Why did you go after her?"

He tensed slightly. "You mean Reinette?"


End file.
